1. First, focus on your child. Be supportive while gathering information about the bullying.

• Never tell your child to ignore the bullying. What the child may "hear" is that you are going to ignore it. If the child were able to simply ignore it, he or she likely would not have told you about it. Often, trying to ignore bullying allows it to become more serious.
• Don't blame the child who is being bullied. Don't assume your child did something to provoke the bullying. Don't say, "What did you do to aggravate the other child?"
• Listen carefully to what your child tells you about the bullying. Ask him or her to describe who was involved and how and where each bullying episode happened.
• Learn as much as you can about the bullying tactics used, and when and where the bullying happened. Can your child name the other children or adults who may have witnessed the bullying?
• Empathize with your child. Tell him or her that bullying is wrong, not their fault, and that you are glad he or she had the courage to tell you about it. Ask your child what he or she thinks can be done to help. Assure him or her that you will think about what needs to be done and you will let him or her know what you are going to do.
• If you disagree with how your child handled the bullying situation, don't criticize him or her.
• Do not encourage physical retaliation ("Just hit them back") as a solution. Hitting another student is not likely to end the problem, and it could get your child suspended or expelled, or escalate the situation.
• Check your emotions. A parent's protective instincts stir strong emotions. Although it is difficult, a parent is wise to step back and consider the next steps carefully.

2. Document, Document, Document

Document all instances of bullying that your child experiences. Whether you suspect it, your child has told you about it, you've witnessed it yourself, or someone else has let you know, be sure to document the event (a simple spiral notebook works great for this).  Note such things as where the bullying took place, who was involved, what type of bullying it was, details of what happened, the date and time. Document as well each communication that you have regarding the bullying event with authority figures. If you've been on touch with teachers, school counselors, bus drivers or any other authority figure about the bullying, make note about your conversations with them as well, including who you spoke with,  where this conversation took place, their title, date, time, plan of action, what is to be followed up on, and what was resolved. 

This information will be invaluable should the bullying continue. It will help in providing an accurate picture of the prevalence of the bullying, and if it mainly involves certain people. In addition, this information may help motivate staff members and others to take action. If for example, school staff perceive bullying as a rare event at school, it may be difficult to show how prevalent it is without documentation.

This information can be useful for assessing other aspects of bullying as well. If there are certain "hot spots" (places where bullying occurs more frequently), this information will help the matter be addressed with the school when requesting increased adult supervision in that location.  It will also be a useful tool for assessing at different points in time the progress that is being made in dealing with bullying.

While documentation alone will not solve bullying problems, such tracking is a critical component of effective bullying prevention efforts. Ttracking helps ensure that the children who are being bullied receive protection and support, and that the children who bully are held accountable for their actions.

3. Contact your childs teacher or principal.

• Parents are often reluctant to report bullying to school officials, but bullying may not stop without the help of adults.
• Keep your emotions in check. Give factual information about your childs experience of being bullied, including who, what, when, where, and how. (This is where your documentation will come in handy.)
• Emphasize that you want to work with the staff at school to find a solution to stop the bullying, for the sake of your child as well as other students.
• Do not contact the parents of the student(s) who bullied your child. This is usually a parent's first response, but sometimes it makes matters worse. School officials shouls contact the parents of the child or children who did the bullying.
• Expect the bullying to stop. Talk regularly with your child and with school staff to see whether the bullying has stopped. (Be sure to note these conversations in your documentation.) If the bullying persists, contact school authorities again.

4. Help your child become more resilient to bullying.

• Help to develop talents or positive attributes of your child. Suggest and facilitate music, athletics, and art activities. Doing so may help your child be more confident among his or her peers.
• Encourage your child to make contact with friendly students in his or her class. Your child's teacher may be able to suggest students with whom your child can make friends, spend time, or collaborate on work.
• Help your child meet new friends outside of the school environment. A new environment can provide a "fresh start" for a child who has been bullied repeatedly.
• Teach your child safety strategies. Teach him or her how to seek help from an adult when feeling threatened by a bully. Talk about whom he or she should go to for help and role play what he or she should say. Assure your child that reporting bullying is not the same as tattling.
• Ask yourself if your child is being bullied because of a learning difficulty or a lack of social skills. If your child is hyperactive, impulsive, or overly talkative, the child who bullies may be reacting out of annoyance. This doesn't make the bullying right, but it may help to explain why your child is being bullied. If your child easily irritates people, seek help from a counselor so that your child can better learn the informal social rules of this or her peer group.
• Home is where the heart is. Make sure your child has a safe and loving home environment where he or she can take shelter; physically and emotionally. Always maintain open lines of communication with your child.